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Cultivating Confidence

29 / 12 / 2015

At the moment I am looking for a job. What a sort of job you ask? Well one where I can save up enough money to travel or just have a bit more independence then I do currently. So basically I am non - fussed, just looking for something part time at a cinema, cafe or bookshop etc etc. It took me a little while to get my butt out there asking around. It just felt so weird and unnatural that I constantly shied away.

Anyway, lately I had absolutely no excuse, and since being labeled 'unemployed' by my Grandma (I've just been labeled student in the past, so keeping up with my current "status" is somewhat of a struggle - thanks Grandma) I thought I should just get this thing over with. From that decision onward when I was mentally determined, I just flicked a switch, and cultivated confidence inside of me. Yes, it wasn't 'real' or 'natural', nor speaking my personality at all, but it was what's necessary in this weird competitive world.

It only took the first two attempts to get on a roll, and then I stopped absorbing others emotions and being constantly affected by them (as I usually do), and just got the job done. I went into about 20 different places, and mostly received declines, but I put myself out there and now I know I've got it in me.

This proved to me that, while we often pull back from certain activities and experiences in life because we don't think we'll succeed, or because we are not the right 'type' of person, we all have the ability to do things if we want them. I only say this because I do think that I wouldn't make a good lawyer or politician, but that's okay in my books, because I really REALLY don't want to be that. So listen to your intuition, and see what you would like to do, and then believe because to get to those situations, jobs, events and experiences, you have the ability to harness '20 seconds of courage' and get the job done.

We've all heard this one, but I think it's extremely important to remind ourselves of it in this imperfect world which doesn't always harness individuality and being yourself...

'fake it till you make it'

and by this I mean, if you are a reserved introvert like me (woo! Join the club), yet know that there are things necessary and that you'd like to achieve in life, it's okay to deviate from you and be 'fake happy', 'fake excited' and 'fake confident', in the beginning. As much as that sounds defeatist, it's what society looks for, and in this instance you might just have to give it to them....

for 20 seconds.