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Bearing All

11 / 09 / 2016

I never really decided not to wear make-up. It just so happened that I never really caught on to wearing it when everyone somewhat began to start. In middle school it seemed like a completely odd and unusual proposition, yet by the time that I would have considered it, I was in a position where I felt like it would be too obvious to just start incorporating it into my appearance. That, and the main reason being that I just could not see myself being bothered to dedicate some of my morning to that practice, led to me never starting. I don't really have anything against it either, so it's just turned out this way. I suppose I like the idea of letting my skin breathe as well, and my skin to not be plastered with too many chemicals and ingredients that I wouldn't be happy to ingest. But at the end of the day, it's whether or not I could be bothered to run and catch up to that train, when it departed long ago.

So I let it all show. I don't really have an "acne" problem, but I definitely am constantly in a state of 'why hello there pimple, how long are you planning on staying, there's a really nice face over there that you could hop on over too. Yeah, off you go, go and have a holiday somewhere else...please!'. Sometimes I have really good days and weeks even, but then there are days like today where it's just a little gross.... for me.

The thing is, because I have had a fair-share of pimples in life and continue to do so, I almost never include it in my evaluation of beauty in others. That being a subconscious one. I think it's really just not fair to do so, and so when looking at others, pimples just don't come into the picture because I get it. I get that when it's a bad day you think everyone is looking straight at them, getting grossed out and then making the decision that you are not worth talking to or are interesting in any way.

This winter it wasn't just pimples that I was bearing all, it was this 50c sized patch of dermatitis on my right cheek. Despite gently cleaning it with apple cedar vinegar and bathing it in jojoba oil, it stuck around, scabbed and became the itchiest thing on the planet, that happened to live on my cheek. So there was that to deal with too. When I was on Jury Duty, it was particularly red and inflamed and embarrassing. But I got through that because I thought, well I don't know these people and I'm never going to see any of them again. That worked too an extent, but it did make me wonder, is a bad layer of foundation (as one juror consistently wore) a better solution. Even though I never do, I did consider wearing a face full of make-up just to hide my crackly weepy cheek - whilst in the company of these people that didn't know me at all.

I didn't do it, I just settled for looking in the mirror less and sighing at the problem on my cheek. That somewhat worked, and as the weather warmed up, it actually looked to heal almost completely - then bam, it's back today rather badly. Flaky and prominent. Anyhoos, I'll keep on and so should you. Your face does not define you, and you are so much more then the exterior layer only shallow people judge you on. Do something cool with your hair or wear a face mask for a bit. Both can make the best of a situation that even though feels eternal, will most likely pass with the change of seasons, or age.

Hang in there.