I'm really over STUFF. You might have gathered this already due to the certain vibe I was giving off in my last posts, but I am most definitely feeling it at the present. The idea of stuff makes me anxious at the moment, and alludes to notions of chaos, disorder, randomness and unpredictability. I know I'm being picky, and please by no means take this as a personal attack if you a sitting in a soon-to-be-tidied bedroom. I am just writing down my thoughts, as I tend to do in this space. Not overly edited, just as they come.
It has become ridiculously evident how OVER 'matter' I am due to the resistance to buying new clothes, when I am actually in a position where I do need some. Apart from the fact that shopping centers want to make me sprint out of them as fast as humanly possible, with the tremendous tsunami of over-stimulation - I just find it difficult at the present to get excited about purchasing more things. To part solve this problem, I bought two pairs of pants that are the same style and similar to a pair I already own (aka playing it safe), online to remove some of the pain in the process. This pretty much worked however they are slightly too big, and one button has already fallen off. It's not a major problem and I think I do really like them, it's just that it was my money and it equated to over $100. I could return them sure, but I think that that there is a small likelihood that the size down would be too small. Anyhoos, they look good on...I just need to find a non-leather belt to make it ideal, and there is nothing more annoying to shop for then specific accessories. Argh!
However, I don't mean to bombard you with negativity to absorb so I'll move on.
My driving instructor yesterday asked me what my generation plan on doing when planning on buying a house. I was a bit taken back by this question so I merely answered, 'well what if we don't want to buy a house?'. He saw my point, but it got me thinking...why not, why not a house? When it came down to it, I don't really want ever acquire so much stuff. To have to purchase things for the sake of filling space. Isn't that just evident of how ridiculous the world's got. If we didn't need more chairs, more "decorations" in the past, why do we need them now because of a massive hand-over of money we decided to make? It just feels to me that the more we buy the more we then buy to fill and accessorise those buys. Ah why!
If you truly want to buy a house, then I'm happy for you - but at this point in my life, with my current outlook, it doesn't make me happy thinking about it.
So do I not buy anything at all? Well no, I have become more digital and simply looking to experiences, rather than objects for entertainment. Chances are you can already do a lot with what you already have. If you have the privilege (and it is, and I respectfully recognise that) to access the internet then you can learn a language, watch a TV series, documentaries, start a blog and edit videos. Read, make art and make money from selling your possessions. You can really do a lot, and also make purchases that don't fill your space.
I mentioned in a recent video about my favourite books, how I have been loving e-books because they don't take up any physical space. Well this is ridiculously true. I will say that I enjoy having 'new' things from time to time, we all do - so when this urge arises I have been turning to e-books and I'm loving it. While I am enjoying some 'exclusive' content, I am also supporting someone through the (usually) small donation for their content. And that more personal exchange is satisfying.
I hope you didn't take any offence from my words. I can only say that I sense a deep change in thinking in me, that (if my vegan transition was anything to go by) results in a little bit of anger and frustration in the beginning.