20/20 Vision with Hindsight
Lately, I've switched preferences for a few major decisions I thought were in the bag, and consequently have been pondering a lot about the clarity that comes with seeing things in the past, as opposed to the present or future. Changing your mind is a normal and everyday phenomenon - yet it usually occurs on a much smaller scale, rather than a large - this has bigger than usual consequences type of scenario. In the morning you choose what you are to have for breakfast, what you'll take for lunch (you can see where my headspace is through the example I chose). Then there are artistic decisions that only have personal consequences, that being your own disappointment if they don't turn out, and that's about it. You usually have the opportunity to change your mind, switch things around - it's all a rather relaxed and insignificant type of affair.
Then there are decisions that seem to have a length of time attached to their name. They determine what you will do with your life for the next month, year or many years into the future. These are usually work orientated, or at least hobby based. Some you might be over-joyed about launching into, or others and from what I can imagine - the majority involve a decent dose of nerves and anxiety alongside, at least until you become comfortable with the routine and what it entails.
This year has given me a little more time to figure out which direction I want this big 'uni' decision to take me. While time to ponder is a relief, it doesn't necessarily secure success. With only a day to go in my uni preferences short-list, I decided to switch to a general arts degree, rather than a specific nutritional medicine one. While I like the later prospect - I wasn't over 50% sure, and I guess that's a good indication whether or not it's for you. When I tabled up the pros and the cons for each scenario, the answer seemed obvious. So with a bit of 'getting my head around it all' I found myself in a place of greater certainty than I was before, and I had my answer.
There is obviously the next step of actually plunging into the course and then wondering what the heck I've done, try and stay afloat among a probably very extroverted O-week, then adjust once more to a new and busier routine. But for now, I have some hindsight. I've had some time to let the dust settle off my 'draft' decision, and I feel as comfortable about it as I presume is possible. Now it's for me to stop playing the waiting game and remain in the present. I still have almost half a year to carve my own path, and if I am forever focused on the next big step then how on earth am I going to enjoy life at all.
But hindsight is a powerful thing, and I truly wish that everyone had the opportunity to make a draft decision before they launched into something bigger than they can comprehend, if they at all want it.
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